is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
