What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
