whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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