oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
