my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
