just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
