There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I skipped work to stalk him.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
