If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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