Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
there is glitter all over my balls
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
