okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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