We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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