Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize