This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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