are you so shy because you have an std?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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