My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
