Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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