My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
