I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
