There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
