Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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