I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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