yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He did a backflip because drugs
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
