Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's never too late to be topless.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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