this boner is exhausting
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize