worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
