Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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