At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
