he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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