and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
