Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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