hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
