She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
