the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
