as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
