Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i drank out of a bidet.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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