it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
