Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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