Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
