I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
