I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
