Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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