On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Four minutes until I can fart!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
