So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
