How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
