So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
