I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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