is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
