What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Randomize
