just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
