I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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