I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My balls are so social today.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
