You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
