I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
