we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
