I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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