dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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