I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
